Hi everyone, I hope you all had a good week and great start to your weekend.
I am writing from a place of moodiness and mental exhaustion. I just checked the Clue app to see what week in the cycle this is. It is PMS I believe which might explain why I have been exceptionally sensitive and really teary. I also have a craving for junk food, like totally unhealthy crap but as I am on the clean eating diet, there is nothing of the sort in my house. This is frustrating me further to the point of tears. I searched the entire house for something, anything and bumped into dried shitake mushrooms. I gave it a go, it tasted like shit, honestly, I am not lying. I finally settled on gnawing at a carrot like a rabbit, so I as said - foul mood. Obehi says I should go and drink tea and watch comedy to ease up but, I am hoping writing will help instead. Wish me luck guys.
Today, I write about E. E prefers to remain anonymous. She fretted a lot before I finally got her to share. I have heard her stories in bits and bops but when I asked her to share, she agonized and started avoiding me. Unfortunately for most people, I cannot be avoided. So, here we are.
E begins her story mid way in. At 25, she had a routine check up which included scans and tiny fibroids were discovered. I have to give it to her that she was thorough enough to check. I did not begin to do any yearly medical check till I hit 30. I had never been sick a day in my life so why am I dashing doctors money? How illiterate of me. Anyway, the fibroids were too tiny to worry about, so she went on living. About ten years down the line, her cousin Sele, while doing a quick medical check on her noticed a bulge in her tummy, it felt like a stone. She urged her to have it investigated. She did not. She states that she is the kind of person that likes to block things out and not deal with issues. “What you do not know, will not kill you is her mantra”. So, she refused to have herself checked out.
in 2019, she had an episode while working away. Extremely ill, puking, cramping and high fever landed her in the hospital. There she would come to terms with the fibroids after a transvaginal scan was done. The doctor showed her what she was dealing with, a six month gestation like fibroids. I will never understand why fibroids are described in these terms. It is distasteful in my opinion. The doctor proceeded to ask her all the “bright” questions we have now come to expect from gynaes. Are you married? Do you have children? Do you want children? The doctor advised that she have immediate surgery but when she was told the price of the procedure, E was miraculously better. Somebody shout what? Hallelujah.
E is still living with fibroids. She has had unusually heavier flows and blesses her friend who introduced her to tampons. She runs through a pack of super plus variant per time at one every hour. She agonizes at the loss of her sexy stomach and how she cannot wear crop tops and body con dresses. She tells me of the pulsating bulge in her stomach, even making a video today for keepsakes. I share that one of the tumors removed from me looked like a ball of tissues and veins. That was the scariest shit I have even seen. It’s like blood vessels go and befriend those things. Sorry, let me move on. Even I am getting grossed out. E’s strategy for dealing with this is prayer and researching ‘how to shrink your fibroids naturally”. She admits she has an irrational fear of going under the knife, particularly in Nigeria and she has reason to be, here is why.
In her early twenties, E fell sick in the university. It was supposed to be a simple case of typhoid, but she will end up getting admitted every month for two years for this same ailment. She would miss exams, end up with an extra year in university and miss other milestones. She was being treated in a “really good” hospital with her doctor being the president of the Nigerian Medical Association yet he was pumping her full of Chloramphenicol. Chloramphenicol has been banned for years in the US and Europe as it causes bone marrow aplasia, defects in babies, seizures, bone marrow issues, and a host of many more depressing side effects. She was on this dangerous medicine until her father asked her to see another doctor, who with tears in her eye, informed her that she should not have been on that at all let alone two years. She survived the side effects, pain in her marrow and more but lost all her hair. It started to fall out in clumps, and she had major scarring on her scalp. A trichologist confirmed that she has lost her hair follicles and is unable to grow hair on some parts of her head. She took the decision to go clean shaven. Each time she stares at herself in the mirror, she is reminded of medical failings. She has embraced wigs fully. She asked me “If the president of the medical association can be negligent, what will happen if someone puts a knife to my body? I have no answer.
E notes that her fear is irrational (I do not believe it is) and she is praying for courage but till then, she is prepared to try any other means possible but open surgery. She has adopted a healthier lifestyle, She regularly ran 10km daily pre Covid and is trying to build back to that now. I do not believe that is the solution from my experience. I was in the eighty percentiles for fitness pre surgery and yes, my stomach was flattish but that fibroid was growing like well fed cows inside. She says, every time I consider surgery, I hear of someone who walked in with their two legs to get surgery and never walked out again, and this exacerbates her inherent fear. She’s quick to note that she does believe we have great doctors here but if she had a choice, she would not get it done here. I reflect on this as someone who chose to get surgery here even though I had global healthcare cover. Two stories made my decision easier. A friend had booked fibroid surgery in the US. On examination, she was advised to take out her womb instead. She was not advised, she was informed, the doctors did not quite understand fibroids and did not want to be liable. She just quietly came back to Nigeria and removed her 27 fibroids in peace. Another one was pregnant and had fibroids growing in tandem, when she went to have elective CS due to the strain of both, the doctors took out the baby, took out the fibroids, showed her the growth and then put it back in because what????? They said that is not what she came into the hospital for. Hey God, Amrika forever doing the most!
So, here we are with E, wishing and praying the growth away. I have faith in the miraculous and I honestly would like to see this happen for her. My faith was not enough sha but I do not take for granted that I had a “successful” surgery. I still have numb sensations in my tummy so its not all cut and close and hence a big decision. She worries that she comes across as nonchalant in not wanting to take action. I hope no one reading this thinks the same. Having surgery is a major life decision and not to be taken lightly, even doctors advise to only so so when lifestyle is altered greatly.
E, Thank you for sharing. I teared up when you spoke about your hair loss, and I see why you did not want to share. You are gorgeous always and forever and I wish you courage to make the decision for your life that brings you the most peace.
Alright then, that will be all for today. My mood is still questionable, and I have this awful aftertaste in my mouth from the sawdust of a mushroom I nibbled on. I need cake and I don’t even like cakes. This is surely the work of the devil, but I shall overcome. Do not forget to keep sharing. E was encouraged to open up by reading all the diverse stories we have shared. Help someone get by in life by letting them in on this.
Till next time, X
These stories though Nnenna! 🥲. Hug E for me.
Sending loads of encouragement to E 🤗🤗