Hi, Hi everyone, I hope you are all well and had a great week. Happy house arrest too if you are in Nigeria. The fact that I do not know what election is even holding, let alone be bothered to vote is doing me one kind as we would say. Let me leave this matter alone for now and focus.
So, what are we going to gist about today? Something light. To keep you guys company this lock in. As I type, I am sipping on one of the many yucky smoothies I have been confined to drinking. This has basil, lettuce, beetroot, and pineapple. Beetroot is the scourge of the earth literally, it tastes like soil in the mouth, LOL, Tufia. I have been told it’s a powerhouse of nutrients and especially good for blood pressure but must it taste like mud? Shudders.
After months of complaining about hormonal weight gain and not seeing a shift even as I have returned to the gym with fervour, my lover whisked me to see the nutritionist. Carib health/holistic center to be specific. It is a nice organic nutrition hospital run by a couple in Ikoyi. I was familiar with this place as I had done their three-day juice cleanse twice. That thing is good man, if you need a colon cleanse, please try it. Your intestines will thank you for it. Anyway, this time I went to consult with Dr Sherese about my hormones and what I should be eating to balance them. They welcome you to the reception with fresh coconut water still in the fruit. Ah Ah, I said to myself, this is off to a good start. Next came checking of vitals signs. For the last twelve months or so, whenever I step on the scale, I warn the nurse not to tell me the figure. LOL. I am very passionate about protecting my mental health as you can see. At this clinic, there was none of that, the machine for weight had this pull up thing you hold for whatever reason, look when I saw the figure ehn, I staggered backwards. Lollllll, Blood of Jesus in heaven, excuse me who weighs this? Ah, my enemies have won, that is all I can say.
I was sober. Other vitals were okay-ish but that scale humbled me. I had a long conversation with the doctor and when I left there, I saw my future. It involves lots of greens and raw food. Oh, before I left, good money was spent on a couple of tests. I willingly gave all the blood possible because someone help me understand what is going on. I have my review this coming week as I was away, and I cannot wait to hear the conclusion of this matter because I am still shaken. I left with a bag of spirulina capsules, and advice to purchase things like reishi mushroom tablets along with the other supplements I take regularly - turmeric, flax seed, zinc to name a few.
While I was away, I received my personalized meal plan from the doctor. I opened it gingerly and what I saw ehn, has me shook. I have since decided that my village people do not want me to enjoy life honestly. The most shocking thing was “Ewedu” juice. As in Ewedu or jute leaves juice, something that should only be eaten in Amala. Please what is this stress forghunnessake? What shall the consistency of this juice be? I quickly went to research, apparently this is a magic leaf with so many health benefits. read more here. It is a high source for iron so instead of folic acids, sip on this mess. Loll. Plus, it breaks down tumours reportedly. If I had read about this before I had my fibroids surgery ehn, it would be oozing out of my pores. So I am “manning” up and getting with it, I will squeeze my nose and swallow. I have been banned from eating amala too. This is really painful. Hot amala cures all sorts of ailments including spiritual issues. sigh. I am now to be on an 18-hour intermittent fasting window which is not a problem as I currently do 16 hours most days except now, I must eat only raw food within that period. I glimpsed Aloe Vera sauce and bitter leaf juice in the meal plan. I do not know anything more bitter than these two individually but together??? This diet is designed to destroy my taste buds. I hear bitter leaf juice cures insomnia. I will try it just for that because sleep and I need to be better friends. Let me tell you now, if money was not spent consulting for this and monthly weigh ins required, I do not know that I will try this because this is punishment.
I have scheduled a chat with the nutritionist when we review my test results because I want to know what each of these provides so I can research other palatable healthy options. This life is not for suffering abeg. That said, I am committed to finding organic ways to help my body get all its nutrients it needs and see results My goal is simple - medication free, so if I need to drink gallons of bitter leaf juice, so be it. I shall keep you all updated as I go along, wish me luck. I will clearly need it.
That will be all for today. Light, easy and you can get back to living and I to sleeping. Thanks for reading as always. Next week, I will be back with serious womb stories. Obehi is next in line. She has escaped me for too long. Till then, toodles….
Hilarious piece!! I was about to complain and say “Nnenna didn’t bless us with a post this weekend!” Then I saw your email 😁 Omo, God help me oh! All these things one has to eat to stay healthy and at least medication free, ain’t it at all. Or could it just be a mindset thing? Hmmm…
You are crazy Nnenna! My tummy hurts from laughing. I’m getting front row seat with popcorn waiting for the unfolding of this raw food nastiness journey