Hello Wombers! How I have missed you all.
Loll, Fear not, this name will not stick especially because a few men read this compendium as well and they do not have wombs. At least I think they do not, one cannot really say these days. I have a He/She living in my apartment building. This is a story for another day abeg. I apologize for not writing last week, I had family commitments and the day just flew by but here I am, super charged too. I embarked on a three- day vegetable juice detox this week and survived it. I am feeling quite proud of myself so, let me brag abeg. If you think it is easy, try it na - 3 full days of no food, just six mostly green juices a day, I saw stars literally. One of the amazing side benefits though is how my period arrived today with zero warning, been a while since this happened. My body must have been too hungry to plot how to disrupt my life with its usual drama. Like, ah this aunty has vexed for us, let us respect ourselves because what else will she do? Lol!! Shoutout to everyone in PMS, Period, Ovulation, or whatever week!
Speaking of periods, Today I am sharing the journey of Onomoresoa with you all. I am in love with that name and its meaning “May your legacy outlive you”. Some mothers can name children sha. Onomo is my oldest friend, her family lives adjacent to mine and I still go to eat free food in her family house when I visit my mum because I mean, it is free and it is food and her mum is so much fun. Shall we begin?
Onomo is blessed with six sisters, five older ones and Aima whose journey I shared here. So, she had a baptism of women’s issues way before she got her first period. She describes herself as a “late bloomer” because her period arrived at 13 and most of her friends had gotten theirs at 9/10 years of age so she was super excited and joyful to start bleeding away ;-). Her periods arrived with slight cramps which she was used to hearing her sisters’ moan about so, no big deal, she sucked it up and moved on. Fast forward to a few years down the line, she started experiencing bad cramps with terrible pain which she still endured as a passing rite to womanhood. As she got older, the pain would become increasingly debilitating as normal daily living became increasingly difficult. She would often get an analgesic injection administered by her father who is a medical personnel to help her cope with the pain. She describes missing classes, lying across the desks at school when the pain hits and a particular incident in an examination where she was in so much pain that she could barely answer the questions so, got up and left. She failed that examination and had to retake it, acing it at second attempt.
Pain in itself is a lot to deal with, but Onomo’s periods also arrived with vomiting and diarrhoea every single time. She would have severe nausea and be unable to keep food down except for sips of water and slight bits of bread to enable her take medications. She started praying to God actively about this condition as she she could not imagine life being this way forever. She recalls a time when she was sat on the toilet bowl stooling and vomiting simultaneously into a bucket in front of her. Her Mum had tears in her eyes as she watched her, like what kind of problem is this one ehn. Sigh. She also recalls an episode when she passed out due to the pain but thankfully was caught by her brother-in-law as she fell to the ground. In her early twenties, she started having her periods twice a month. Yep, two freaking dramatic cycles in a month, this gift of hers was committed to keep on giving. Thankfully, this bi-monthly period spell lasted just a few months, but it was enough to leave her feeling cursed. She prayed for God to heal her and take away this curse from her. A short while after, her period pains decreased to the point of not needing a pain injection and diarrhoea was now limited to Day 1 of her periods. She could also eat without vomiting so, she felt healed.
In her late twenties/early thirties, she noticed a severe level of exhaustion just before her period. She also had feverish bouts around her ovulation -Malaria type symptoms that sent her to countless doctors who would run all sorts of tests, ask the usual “bright’ questions, and end up with the same diagnosis, all checks out fine. Onomo also experienced pains in her femur bones and knees. She describes it as pain inside the bone which would cause her to limp about and magically stop when the period commences. Always slightly anaemic, she tried to boost her iron levels with lots of leafy greens and blood tonic. It remains a problem till today. Then the headaches, she describes them as “brain-splitting” headaches which medication just dulled, never quite stopping. I hissed out loud just now in frustration. Na wa for Eve o, one useless bite of an apple and look at where we all are now. She also states that she noticed she was very self critical around this time as well. Her personality is light, she is such a fun individual and the best dancer I know hands down. A truly happy go lucky girl so hearing her say self critical is hard to take in. She was also given to jealous fits in her previous relationship when she was in this zone, something she typically is not. Wonders shall never end honestly, hormonal jealousy? I am going to find a way to make this a thing in future, Lol.
Let’s talk about hormonal acne she says. She states that she never had porcelain skin to begin with but in her 20s, she started getting nasty acne on her jawline, chest, upper arm, and all over her face. Initially she thought it was post-NYSC camp as this was when she first noticed it. She recalls she had to have layers of foundation of her face and body to perform her chief bridesmaid duties at her sisters wedding without feeling too self conscious. It eased up for a few years and then flared up again in her 30s. Then the hair loss, she who used to have lustrous enviable hair, started losing her hair and experiencing balding in the middle of her head. She did not think the acne or hair loss were hormone-induced until further reading and it is still not proven even though we can all agree that our hormones have their own idea of life. She has gone natural since 2015, cutting out relaxers and chemicals plus intense conditioning yet the balding persists. She is currently seeing a trichologist to help her hair journey. Her initial tests show her hormones are not skewed so; I am sending prayers that it works out because the trichologist I saw in 2018 was a waste. She just collected my money and sold her own brand hair mist to me with zero results. Turns out tight wigs were my problem not my village people eating my hair line. Onomo admits she is super self conscious of her hair loss, it affects her self-confidence and it comes across in her dating life. She needs to activities to plan what wig to wear in case it is one that requires her clinging tightly to the wig on her head. I asked lewdly, please what kind of activities are you talking about here Madam? She laughs, ah ah ziplining, swimming, theme park rides and such. Okay o, we have heard you, because the only thing we know in this Nigeria is food and restaurants. But seriously, I imagine this is hard. Somebody’s son cannot do surprise activity or fling you into the water anyhow. I recall a beach party I attended once when tossing women into the pool was a sport, one babe’s wig just floated to the top like a half plucked chicken leaving her head exposed, I can’t recall if her plaits were tidy now but ah, it was embarrassing. Even though I had braids in, I quietly walked into the pool and slid in, I cannot shout.
How is she managing the pain now? Oral medication and Suppositories. Loll, in case you need another introduction, these are medications shoved up your butthole or vagina for maximum absorption, there was no easy way to say that ;-). She swears it works magic and medically it is proven to be more effective as it bypasses digestion and goes straight into your blood stream. As someone who had gone through the entire spectrum of pain medication - Felvin, Diclofenac, Ibuprofen, stopping short at Cocodamol which is the queen of pain meds, she must know what she is saying. She states that she almost gets into a panic attack whenever her Advil liquid gel supply is running low. She is the go to girl in her office for pain relief, never leaving home without her stash of wonderful pain numbing pills. As she closes out her sharing, her overlying emotion is gratitude. She is healthy, happy, has figured a way to live with the cards life has dealt her and is grateful that these issues are being discussed more openly in and out of the work place so she does not feel alone. Onomoresoa darling, we are grateful that you shared your journey with us. Thank you, I am humbled to have written it and I hope you find joy in reading it.
That is all for today folks. It is raining cats and dogs now as I wrap up and I look forward to dozing off to a great audible book. Thank you for reading, liking, and sharing. Don’t forget to follow on Instagram @ourwombs to stay in the fray.
Bye for now, X
Life.....thank you for sharing. Onomo is dealing with the cards life has dealt her. We all have to. I am glad that these conversations are happening.
Life.....thank you for sharing. Onomo is dealing with the cards life has dealt her. We all have to. I am glad that these conversations are happening.